Cory's Blog

The return of the blog

Posted by Cory on Wednesday 23rd April, 2008

I deleted my blogs for two reasons:  My parents saw them and I got a fun phone call from my mom telling me it was a bit awkard reading them, and because I was applying for a journalism schloarship and didn't want the powers that be to see what a drunken idiot I am.  That being said, the powers that be didn't want to give me money regardless, so it's another entry about being a drunken idiot in college, one of the few thing's I'm hoping the Washington Post will be looking for whenever I apply.  If not, at least Matt and Michael like them.  Before you go on, beware:  This will contain lots of swearing, name dropping, and general stupidity.

I suppose MACRoCk weekend is a good story, so I'll tell that The great thing about MACRoCk is that everyone is your friend, regardless of how little you know each other, it's just a network of punks and indie kids invading a small town for a weekend.  My MACRoCk weekend starts volunterring, where my job is to talk with a cute girl, take smoke breaks every 35 seconds, and get yelled at.  I talked with Brent Eyestone for a while about Waffle House, and then got yelled at by a bartender for not handing out green wrist bands to 21+ people.  First off, it's a fucking bar.  It's not my fault your system of serving alcohol is as faulty as an inside out condom, so don't yell when you're too lazy to ID people.  If you're going to be too lazy to ask for an ID, then I'm too lazy to give a shit about alcohol laws, and will exploit them later.

After voluntering I meet up with Eyestone and Katy Otto and watch Pygmy Lush.  Fuck that band rules.  After their set I realize the system at the bar, and comprehend how easy it is to drink underage.  Green wristband=21, no questions asked.  Before you can say "lost liquor license" a green wrist band has been stolen and been placed firmly around my wrist, and all the money I planned to spend on records is going towards $2 Yuengling.  After getting drunk enough to sing louder than everyone in Antlers (My god awful voice can be heard on youtube) I go see The Catalyst, who were better with two drummers but still rule.  I then try to get into an after party, but green wrist bands are not issued by the DMV to prove age at that place, so I am told to leave.

I go back to the first venue, drunk and a bit angry.  I get another beer, find Eyestone, and don't see the venue's manager behind me.  Unfortunitly I am very drunk and loud, and Mr. Manager realizes a 19 year old kid is putting significant work in on his bar.  I try to appologize, but apparently it came of as arguing to get my beer back (I didn't really try and appologize.)  He tells me to leave, Eyestone laughs at him, and I move on.

At about 4am Punch You In the Face Big! comes over to my apartment, and whisky flowed like $2 Yuengling, except I wouldn't get kicked out of anywhere.  We talk about Richmond, and then go wake up the girls soccer team.  I get 2 hours of sleep and bong a beer to get rid of my hangover when I wake up.  The next day of MACRoCk was fun, but nothing too noteworthy.  I got drunk and watched Owen, got moshed at Government Warning, and hung out at some hippie house until 4am.

I realize how long this is getting, so here are some other dumb drunk things I've done recently:

Excessive drinking beginning 10am every weekend.  Block party all day, thousands of kids on the street, cops are powerless.  I do 4 beer bongs in a minute, it starts spilling out of my nose.  Wake up hungover at 10pm and drink until 5am, wake up at 10am and do it all over again. 

RVA rapper Swordplay plays a house show, I miss his set.  I beg him to play my favorite song, because I know all the words.  We rap in the kitchen, I'm too drunk to remember and just try and think of words that rhyme.  He corrects me every 8 seconds.

Go to Sheetz to buy cigarettes.  I get ID'd (stupid) and hand them my debit card, and laugh hystericially when they give it back.  Cops getting coffee look at me questionably.

I've managed to kill 36 minutes writing this.  It should have taken 5, but my keyboard is the worst piece of shit ever.  I shit you not, this is how it types out this sentence when I don't correct it as I go:  UI shiut y]oui notm, thuis iu how it t]ypes oiut thius sentence when IU don't correct it as UI go.  Do you know why it types like that, SPB?  Spilling Mad Dog 20/20 on your laptop makes it permanently shitfaced drunk.