While the summer for many adolescents provides an excuse to go outside and perhaps even get "wet and wild", on this nice Thursday night I had a date that required my single ass to stay indoors and online. This rendezvous would be with a math chaos grindcore band from New Jersey aptly named The Number Twelve Looks Like You. It's the kind of music that makes you wish you were an alligator so you could thrash your tail about. We met up in a dark chat room with the fully lit moon as our backdrop. Nothing could stop us, not the stars, not the sun, not even Principal Drifter's primary actions against my final words, not as a student, but as a human being!!!
SPB: What is your name and what instrument do you yield in The Number Twelve Looks Like You?
Jamie: Jamie and guitar.
Chree: Chree, Drums
SPB: How long have each of you been playing your respective instruments?
Chree: 10 or 11 years give or take.
Jamie: I've been going for about 6.
SPB: Who is it that looks like the number 12?
Chree: Hah'umm.
Jamie: The television.
SPB: Is that where you got the name from?
Chree: It was from a Twilight Zone episode.
Jamie: Yeah, it's just the title from a Twighlight Zone episode, no real meaning.
SPB: How long have you guys been a band for?
Chree: With this name, a little over a year.
Jamie: Yeah, all together just about 2.
SPB: What was the previous band?
Chree: And Ever, same members, just different name and the music style was a bit different.
Jamie: Yeah, if you go to mp3.com and search for And Ever, you'll find the demo version of Blue Dress.
SPB: When did the signing to Brutal records come into play?
Chree: This past March? I believe it was March.
SPB: How did it come about?
Jamie: They just have people that look out for new bands, and one of them heard us and showed it to the guys who run it, so we sent them all the songs we had recorded already and they liked them, so they had us go out and record 2 new tracks, and put out the CD.
Chree: A member of the band Barium heard us on MP3.com and told Brutal about us, they liked us so they signed us.
SPB: Why do you love boobs?
Jamie: Because they're boobs.
Chree: I'm sitting out on this one.
Jamie: Yeah, I'll have to take care of this one.
Chree: Thanks man.
SPB: You can go into greater detail if so desired
Jamie: They're just boobs, no one can understand their powers.
SPB: Are you guys crucial, epic, or brutal?
Chree: I'm Gay.
Jamie: I'm not gay
Chree: End of story.
SPB: Why did your upcoming tour get cancelled?
Chree: There was an illness in the band.
Jamie: Our one singer has ulcers, so he's pretty limited with how long he can go away for. Especially with the erratic schedule of being on tour.
SPB: So would that limit the chances of a west coast tour ever happening?
Jamie: Hopefully not.
SPB: Are there any future plans for a west coast tour?
Jamie: Not yet, but California seems pretty cool, so if given the chance, we'd like to go.
Chree: I agree. Especially SF.
Jamie: I'm not sure if any state other than California makes up the west coast
SPB: Oregon, Washington, and some of Canada maybe.
Jamie: Canada eh. Just remember, gerbils are illegal now.
SPB: They just legalized them in SF
Jamie: Ohhhhhh, oops. Chree..............
Chree: YAY!!
SPB: How did your mini tour with The Sawtooth Grin go?
Jamie: We've known Sawtooth for a long time now, so despite how the shows go, we'll have a blast with them no matter what.
Chree: Yeah, nutty times.
Jamie: Yeah.
Chree: They're my fav.
Jamie: Lots of fun, and very little sleep.
Chree: Lots of coffee intake.
SPB: Any times in particular you'd like to shed some light on?
Jamie: Yeah, I think every gas/rest/break stop with us and Sawtooth is at least a half hour story that we could tell.
Chree: The time I kissed Jamie and the 15 other boys that were around.
Jamie: HAHAH. Fuck.
Chree: Sorry Jamie.
Jamie: Shhhhhhh. CLOSED MOUTH.
SPB: Did kissing Jamie cause a sawtooth grin?
Chree: Maybe a boner or two.
SPB: Very hot
Jamie: It would only be two boners if you got two wangs buddy.
Chree: You never know.
SPB: Admit it; you're in it for the chicks (except for Chree who's in it for the boys)
Jamie: I told someone once, all we really want is to be male prostitutes, if we gotta do this music/band stuff to get it off the ground, then we'll do it.
Chree: I'm a buyer, if that counts.
Jamie: You're a regular hunny.
Chree: ::wink wink::
SPB: So the band is just exposure?
Jamie: Yeah, we're all for sale
Chree: Yeah, we play music just so people would want to have sex with us.
Jamie: It's not working too well though
Chree: Nope. I exposed myself 12 times on the mini tour.
SPB: Does the speed at which you play exhibit any emulation of your sexual styles?
Jamie: Well people will just have to find that out for themselves. We got a big van :wink wink:
SPB: Do you have any ideas for your music video for MTV when you begin filming for it?
Chree: Dildos, bongs and bitches.
Jamie: And pancakes.
Chree: Crackers and Beer. And some of those headless chickens all the metal bands throw in.
Jamie: And dildos with a crank at the bottom that makes them rotate.
Chree: JAMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jamie: If we only knew someone with one.
Chree: SHUT IT. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WITH ANAL BEADS OR DILDOS!!!
SPB: Why is your mascot a penguin?
Jamie: Yeah, the penguins. We just like them
Chree: Well penguins slip and slide all over the ice. They're cute. And I bet there is no racial tension being they're all black and white.
SPB: They don't fly either.
Jamie: Ahhhhh, someone drinks Snapple.
SPB: Yeah, I gain all my factual knowledge in life from their caps.
Jamie: Me too. Camels have 3 eyelids.
SPB: Yeah, the caps say caller ID is illegal in California but a lot of people I know have it. So I don't buy it.
Jamie: Yeah, I hear that's not true.
Chree: Mosquitoes live for one day.
Jamie: Fruit flies live for 3. Termites eat wood 3 times faster when listening to rock and roll music. So does Chree.
SPB: What is your process of writing music and getting so many different parts in one song?
Jamie: Chree can take this one
Chree: Thanks Jamie. I think that's a secret.
Jamie: Yeah, top secret.
Chree: Hahaha, that sounded cool. Sorry guys.
SPB: Similar to Victoria's?
Jamie: Lots of boobs in that magazine
Chree: Not to mention thongs. Mmm.
SPB: Are you guys considering a sponsored deal by them?
Chree: I leave that for Jamie. They don't have like Victor's Secret.
SPB: Not yet
Chree: When that comes out, I'll take the sponsorship.
SPB: What inspired you to write "Empty Calm"?
Chree: That's all our guitarist Alex.
Jamie: That was written by Alex, it was just something he wrote and wanted to record for himself.
SPB: It doesn't seem as hard as your others; did this make you question Alex's hardness?
Chree: He's very hard..
SPB: What kind of reaction did you get from your parents when they first heard your music?
Jamie: "I like empty calm."
Chree: My parents are at every show that's local.
Jamie: Mine have been at one too.
Chree: I'm on the phone with Smoogs [bass] and he said, "MY mom said she doesn't like it." She only likes curves.
Jamie: Hahahahaha, and making bagels and pizza.
Jamie: Where is Smoogs?
Chree: He's coming here.
SPB: Hey, I'm asking the questions.
Jamie: Ohhh, alone?
SPB: Jerk
Jamie: Hahahaha, sorry
SPB: It's ok, that was your first and last warning.
Chree: Whoa Mr. Question Nazi.
SPB: I'm Jewish actually.
Jamie: No question for you.
SPB: Well I'm not really Jewish, but it made that part sound better. When your parents do come to shows, do they ever mosh? Or "throwdown"? Or "go nuts?"
Jamie: Mine bleed through.
Chree: My dad, looking like Ron Jeremy and all, moshes it up. I caught him fingering my mom in the bathroom one time, it was sickening.
SPB: If it was finger pointing, it might have been hardcore.
Chree: Possibly.
SPB: How are you able to play so fast and technical?
Jamie: He's gay.
Chree: My mantra is wicked' And what Jamie said.
SPB: So being gay helps your technical playing?
Chree: 100%
Jamie: I'll say so. Well for Chree. Not me. I'm not gay.
SPB: How do you do it then?
Chree: Jamie has the power from the Boobs. They power him to do all that's impossible.
Jamie: Yeah, plus I know Chree, and he's gay.
Chree: I rub off the gay sometimes, not to mention we've kissed. Some gay spit got inside and made him better.
Jamie: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SPB: Are you guys writing anything yet for the next release?
Chree: We started some new stuff.
Jamie: Yeah, we did
SPB: how is it different, if it is, than the previous stuff?
Smoogs: Well, the newer stuff isn't all that different, maybe a bit more technical, but in all, it's the same. Not the same, similar..
Jamie: Yeah.
SPB: What's the worst thing you've heard said about your music?
Chree: We sound like Shai Hulud
Jamie: HEY. I may or may not be wearing a Shai Hulud jersey
Smoogs: That it's all brown notes.
Jamie: I've heard that we suck. We're gay. We're terrible.
Chree: Yeah. Our singers are dating each other..
SPB: You heard that, or that is a statement by you?
Chree: No no..I heard that. That's not true.
Jamie: Nah, It's on the internet somewhere.
SPB: OH. The internet is a very reliable source.
Chree: I'm the only flamer in the group.
SPB: That's all the questions I have, any last words?
Jamie: I can drive.
Smoogs: Listen to Batter Up.
Jamie: Sorry, just a little Dennis Leary reference.
Chree: I'm gay, please fuck me.
SPB: Oh yeah, a question about that. Is Chree pronounced like tree or fern?
Chree: Yes. Chree as in Cock.
SPB: Ok. Thank you very much.
Chree: Thank you.
Jamie: Chree, rhymes with butt sex
Interview conducted on AIM chat by Zed Brecherman
Photos: http://www.thenumbertwelve.com
Put On Your Rosy Red Glasses out now on Brutal Records
