Since I last wrote properly, I turned 20. Not really a big deal in the scheme of things, but it’s odd. I don’t feel different (not that birthdays ever do make any overnight changes, but still), despite having left behind the “difficult teenage years”. I feel a little sad really, they’re supposed to be among the best years of your life, and yet I don’t see myself looking back on them that way in years to come. I guess the optimist in me (there’s one in here somewhere) is saying to look to the future and start living the life I want to live. We’ll see if adulthood changes things.My birthday itself was good, no huge thing, as is usually the case with me. I went back home to Nottingham for the weekend to see family and friends. I’d already gotten a Gamecube and some games from my sisters before I moved into my new place in Leeds, but they got me some HMV vouchers and a huge cheesecake from The Cheesecake Shop (I’m a big fan of this king of desserts). My dad gave me money and mum had gotten me two tickets (one for my Dad, really) to see the Bootleg Beatles play in Nottingham in December, which was completely unexpected but cool. She also got me some books.We went out for a meal then, at the Springwater, the Chinese restaurant I used to work at. We’d been there about half an hour when out of the blue, Nathan and his family walked past. Not only is Nathan one of my best friends, but he was the person I used to work at the restaurant with.. too many co-incidences. We chatted for a bit even though I’d be seeing him the next night at a little party my friend Rich was having for me.
So the next night I ended up at Rich’s. We went to Asda to pick up some snacks and then headed back to his place to just chill playing some games and hanging out. The ever-fantastic Joe showed up, and reminded me how much I’d missed him. I hadn’t seen him in a good few months and the whole thing definitely wouldn’t have been half as cool if he hadn’t been there, and I’m not just saying that because I know he’ll read this.
The guys had all got me presents, which were really awesome. Susie, Rich’s girlfriend, had gotten me this awesome little book she picked up at the John Lennon museum in Japan where she had been. It’s quotes from his songs, with the Japanese and then the English, all bound in this special soft paper. I didn’t even expect anything from her so I was very touched. Sarah got me book tokens which I exchanged for Bill Bryson’s “A Walk In The Woods” and Frank McCourt’s “Teacher Man”, and Rich got me a PC game, Command and Conquer Generals, an awesome game that we’d talked about buying so we could play online when I was away in Leeds. Finally, Nathan gave me a mystifying rolled up tube, which I unwrapped to discover an absolutely awesome manga-style drawing of my band, done by Nathan over 4 days. It blew me away, so much effort must have gone into it. We’ve never really been huge on presents, so to see something he’d clearly spent a lot of time on really meant a lot. The drawing itself is awesome, it’s very flattering to all of us, we look about 100 times cooler, slimmer, muscular and badass than in real life, but it’s really cool, he has me wearing an AFI shirt that I own, and even my shoes and jeans. I’ll get a photo of it (it’s framed on my wall) so you can all appreciate his awesomeness.
The night took a turn for the worse after that, though. Me and Joe were sharing a double futon downstairs since bedspace was limited. Before everyone left us to sleep, there were tons of jokes about me and Joe fucking, which Joe helpfully exacerbated by climbing on top of me and humping wildly. After more jokes about us having a gay experience at night, they left us. We just lay and chatted in the dark for a bit until Joe left to go and smoke with Thom and some other people who’d just got back from a night out somewhere. This was when the fun started for me.
Thom (the singer in my band, he’s gay) had a friend over from Ireland. At about 2am, he got into the bed with me. I was half asleep and thought it was Joe, until he shook me and I looked round, right into the close-up face of a drunken, sweaty-smelling Irishman. Here’s a transcript, for ease of reading/mocking:
Him: Hey, mfffffggghhhhh, youuuuuu alriiiiiiiight?
Me: Whoa! Uh, oh, yeah man. *makes obvious “going-back-to-sleep” gesture*
Him: Cool, fsdkhfselksffs6rh… *shakes my shoulder* Hey, roll over a bit, we can cuddle *indicates to the side so I should lie with my back facing him*
Me: *trying to keep calm* I’m alright thanks, I just wanna sleep, seriously. *goes back to faux sleep*
- five minutes later -
Him: Hey, fssfdsdffsdfsdfsdfsddssdsdsdrrrrrrrr *starts to stroke me under the covers on my chest, working slowly down*
Me: *pushing his hand away* Leave it, man, I’m not interested. I just want to sleep.
Him: Okay, okay.
- He begins to do what I can only describe as “chewing his teeth”. Imagine a loose tooth was rolling around his mouth and he was biting it and rattling it around. He was also making eating sounds with his lips. Add to this an overpowering smell of stale beer and sweat being directed almost directly into my face from him as he sleeps -
Me: *tries vainly to fall asleep; fails*
After he laid his hand on my shoulder again, I gave up and just got out of the bed and moved my cover onto the couch and slept there. The couch was a good foot or two shorter than me, which made for one of the least comfortable night’s sleep ever, but it was better than rejecting a wasted dude. He still spoke to me, first asking me to come back, then ominously asking if I’d “ever been to Galway”. I hoped this wasn’t some gay euphemism.
In the morning I told Thom and asked him worriedly if the guy was actually gay. I’d rather have had a gay guy come onto me than a straight one thinking I was a girl, admittedly a girl who’d really let herself go. To my relief, he was actually homosexual. He was also high on several Class A drugs, not to mention drunk, and had no recollection of the incident in the morning. I told Thom not to tell him.
When I woke up, I felt absolutely awful, and not for the above reasons. I was sick after drinking some fresh orange juice, and felt an awful stomach cramp. This didn’t subside for a whole week afterwards, which, put bluntly, saw me spending most of my waking hours either writhing on my bed in pain, sleeping and having the weirdest, trippiest dreams, or sitting in the bathroom wishing I was anywhere else. Not a fun week.
A few weeks ago I ended up going out alone just to kill the boredom. Everyone else was at work (or in Hayley’s case, out with her friends) and after texting a few people to ask if they wanted to see a movie, I just went on my own. I saw Little Miss Sunshine and quite enjoyed the solitary experience. It beats sitting around in the house waiting for life to happen., anyway.
My student loan arrived in my bank account a few days ago, which was a happy day. I went out and picked up the books for the first semester of university, a sweet £100, and that’s only half of the ones I have to buy. Damn English degree. University itself begins tomorrow; I feel I should be preparing myself for it better than sitting online typing long diatribes that about 4 people will read, but such is my life.
I think this year (as in my 20th year, and my second year of university) is going to be good. The last few years have sucked, I got rejected from tons of universities, had my parents split up, and just didn’t achieve any of the things I wanted. I’m thinking positive and things are gonna get better. Can’t hold me down!