Ever since I accidentally saw them live in 2003, Spitalfield had been on my list of bands to avoid listening to. Their set was brain-implodingly bad - a sloppy mess of contrived pop-punk hooks, soulless songwriting, and the second whiniest vocals I?d ever heard (Rufio being the first.) It didn?t help that the sound quality was weak, or that the girl pogo dancing in front of me landed on my toes more than once. I left the venue that night vowing to hunt down and stab the kid on the internet who had told me that Spitalfield were a totally sweet hardcore band.
I never found that kid, but I figured suitable revenge would be to review Spitalfield?s second album, Stop Doing Bad Things, and shit all over it. Unfortunately, it?s not really working out that way. Yes, I dislike this album, but I dislike it for different reasons than I expected to. Instead of beating me over the head with annoying vocals and terrible songs, Stop Doing Bad Things quietly sits in a chair, awkwardly looking at me, waiting for me to say something while it drinks a cup of tea I poured for it. The only word that comes to mind is "underwhelming."
That, or maybe "totally boring." The songwriting here actually has more in common with, say, the Foo Fighters than Rufio. It?s hard to say how much of an improvement it is. It?s as though the band progressed, but in the process forgot about things like catchy parts and good melodies, things necessary to creating a memorable pop-rock album.
The most interesting thing going on here is easily the musicianship. Every now and then the band stumbles across a guitar part that?s unique enough to warrant attention. The best example of this is "The Future is Now," which is guided by a spacey riff that?s rich with wanky-noodley goodness. The track ends up being the only one on the album that I?d call "catchy," and the only one I wouldn?t mind listening to on repeat.
Several other tracks come close to being winners by using unexpected dynamics and time signature changes, but are ultimately held back by lifeless melodies. The best examples of this are "Texas With a Dollar Sign" and "Building a Better City by Design." I remember both of these songs being kind of cool, but I wouldn?t be able to hum the tunes to you if you aimed a crossbow up my ass.
I suppose I have to give Spitalfield credit for never actually pissing me off with this album. I just wish they?d done something to me. If this band paired their fresh instrumentation with some worthwhile songs, I could actually see myself liking them. Until then, I?ll let douche-bag high-school kids like them instead.
