Weekend Nachos

Remember that kid in middle and high school you pushed around, called him a fag, and turned his great day to shit? Well, that kid rests in me. And that kid rests singer John Caution, and that kid means more to me than your insults ever will. The torturous years of withholding rage are now released and pressed on analog format in the form of the Torture EP. Weekend Nachos keeps its message clear and simple: fuck you.

Torture opens the gates of Dimension X with the introduction "End of Your Faith," a sludgy prelude to the onslaught of powerful violence, and by powerful violence I mean powerviolence. This is not that To Live a Lie trendviolence, this is actual powerviolence taking nods from the likes of Infest and Crossed Out with a little Path of Resistance and Eyehategod for some variety. What sets Weekend Nachos apart from the poseurs is that the music is rooted in hardcore as opposed to Bridge Nine and The Locust.

Back to the music, "Snowball Fight" sets a scene of a childhood pastime gone horribly wrong. The anger seems to only grow until "Necrolepsy" hits, when the eternal lyric "Defeat the Christian right" rings during the heaviest mosh part ever. Honestly, if you do not feel the intent to kill rise within yourself during this song, don't even bother sending hate mail because you're a waste of flesh. Same goes if you're scared of naked men, which ends side A of this brutal 7".

Next on the chopping block are the spoiled brats and popular kids from high school we all now look back and laugh at, and what a laugh it is. Even Stephen Blush gets what's coming to him after saying hardcore has been dead. "Sludge" ends this hate-filled EP with a nice and slow song so that the listener can catch a breather and maybe start patching up the holes in the drywall or getting the blood out of the carpet.

Chances are, you've snuck a peek at my score for this record. You're probably wondering "Why only an 8, Evan?" The answer is right under your nose, dipshit, 7 inches does not allow enough time to kill an entire room of Dimension X-ers.

If you're still wondering what Weekend Nachos is about, I'll rename all the tracks for you: Fuck Christians, Fuck snowball fighters, Fuck couples, Fuck everyone, Fuck everyone again, Fuck dead bodies, Fuck homophobia, Fuck equal rights, Fuck snobs, Fuck kids who think shoe collecting comes hand in hand with Straight Edge, Fuck wardrobes, Fuck you, Fuck college, Fuck Steven Blush, Fuck jocks, and Sludge.

8.0 / 10 — Evan B.