When quality is superseded by time constrains, one feels a certain degree of relief. If all goes terribly wrong and what you've written stinks, you can always fall back on the old 'It was a rush job' line. Here's my situation: I received the new split CD by 27 and Twin Zero in the post this morning, and I have an unhinged website owner at the other end of the internet threatening to anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my petrol tank if I don't write a review post haste and get it back to him before the day is through. Naturally I am scared for my car, and my mother's rear. So I've thrown high standards to the wind in favor of speed when producing the following piece. But time is of the essence, so enough of the extended introduction.
We begin with 27. Having released records on both Hydra Head and Relapse Records in the past, you tend to expect something good, and more obviously, something heavy. No luck with regards to the heavy and only minimal luck with regards to the goodness. The first two tracks are new ones of theirs, apparently to wet appetites of their new full-length. My appetite remains un- wet. Rock Sound, that bastion of great journalism (take note: sarcasm is k00l), refers to this as 'ethereal beauty.' Clearly they've never heard of Swans. That band made music that was both ethereal and tragically beautiful (and also had female vocals, whoa!) 27 simply do their best not to offend or interest. It isn't even outrageously bad, it's just pretty dull. At least you can get passionate about hating My Chemical Romance.
Next up is the UK's answer to Isis, Twin Zero. Or not, but I imagine they would like to be considered in the same light. That perhaps comes off as a little overtly negative, it isn't supposed to. A review I once read of Twin Zero's debut album, Monolith, nailed this band on the head when it observed that they wear their influences quite blatantly on the sleeves. It just failed to mention that the sleeves in question were part of a brand new Cult of Luna t-shirt. Understand what I mean? If you do, and names like Old Man Gloom, Mono, Neurosis et al cause a stirring in your groin then you very well might like Twin Zero. They're good at what they do; it just so happens what they do has already been done before by more talented people. The eight plus minutes of "Monolith (Reprise)" do capture the listener's attention, and manage to hold it for the entirety of the song with a piano making a welcome entrance to the post rocking. It's hard to not come off as sounding less than positive when you already know what you're going to hear before the CD even meets your stereo. Let me be crystal clear. Twin Zero are an okay band, they're just not going to make anything as stunning as Enemy of the Sun without a lot of work, and a few new ideas.
Rounding off the proceedings is "0027", essentially a mix track by Twin Zero's Rueben Gotto which takes parts of all of the proceeding songs. The re-mix is an interesting and novel way to end things, so bonus points to him for this. But is it any good? Actually, it's not bad; it even makes the lifeless 27 songs worth something.
Review complete in exactly twenty seven minutes and zero seconds. My automobile and mothers anal virginity are safe for another day. ['and there was much rejoicing.]
