Review
Freshman 15
Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands

Standby (2009) — Campbell

Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands cover artwork
Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands — Standby, 2009

This is a tough one. At some point, there was a crossover between cheesy melodic pop-punk and the worn-out "scene" image of white belts and devil locks. It became cool to sound like Simple Plan as long as you listened to August Burns Red, and constantly posted pictures of how tough your band looks. I've done my best to avoid this topic as much as possible, because complaining about it only brings attention to a demographic I'd like everyone to forget. But I have also been known to pick through these millennial pop-punk manifestations, as a handful of them are not part of this strange metalcore aesthetic, or are simply capable of writing catchy songs that aren't lame. So I'll bite my tongue for the time being.

Freshman 15 are a four-piece from Georgia, and all members appear to be under the legal drinking age, although they boast that they originally formed in 2001. As far as I can tell, this is their second release and first full-length, entitled Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands. The album opens with "Phoenix Can Keep You," starting with a poppy guitar melody that is joined by the appropriate hopping drum section and high-pitched vocals. I wanted to be wrong about this band, but there's so many clichés on the first track alone that there's no way this record could redeem itself. But hey, I have plenty of musical guilty pleasures, so who knows where this could go, right?

The album essentially progressed just as I expected. I can hear each song use the exact same power chords over and over, with the harmonizing layered vocals about summers and ex-girlfriends only coming in at the chorus. Everything is relatively catchy, I'll give Freshman 15 that, but it's just not that good. I can think of a number of bands that execute this style much better, or at least don't embarrass themselves quite as much. They even have the obligatory slow ballad, "The Truth About Liars," with an acoustic guitar and sparse piano.

I can see that this band would like to be slightly tongue-in-cheek, with their band name and album title referring to a stage of life they have yet to reach. But instead, it comes off as unconvincing and doesn't even succeed in being a novelty act. Freshman 15 is a marketing ploy at its finest, using internet popularity to inflate a marginally talented group of high school kids to be "the next big thing." Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands is pleasant enough that plenty of kids will eat it up, but it's too imitative to get past mid-level Warped tour status at most. As the first line of this album states, "Okay, we get it, nobody is as scene as you."

2.0 / 10 — Campbell • March 30, 2009

Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands cover artwork
Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands — Standby, 2009

Recently-posted album reviews

Dreamwell

Hymns for the Denial of God
Prosthetic (2026)

Some records make their intentions obvious from the very beginning. They use the same structure that countless bands have for decades: verse, chorus, breakdown, payoff, and the blunt force of explaining what you are supposed to feel. Hymns for the Denial of God does something much more complex. It’s a series of difficult questions no one wants to answer, proposed … Read more

Wine Lips

TV Dinner
Stomp Records (2026)

ALBUM HIGHLIGHTS – “Leech”, “Semi Detached Furnished Home”, “Strip Club DJ”, “Static On The Radio” Toronto’s garage-psych punks Wine Lips bring us album number five. Aside from the awesomely colourful, off-the-wall humanoid artwork, TV Dinner takes a sharp turn from the sonically trippy toppings of previous entries – particularly 2024’s Mushroom Death Sex Bummer Party. Tracks are punchy fuzz-bombs, as … Read more

Psycho Beets

Horrendum
Trash Wax, White Riot Records (2026)

ALBUM HIGHLIGHTS – “Mam w sobie diabła”, “Zombie”, “Listopadowa noc”, “Porque te vas” Fancy some Polish psychobilly punk? Well, you’re in luck. This is for anyone who takes their classic rock ’n’ roll swing with a heavy dose of horror and dark Western twang, blending rockabilly elements with Slavic folk and chaotic yet mysterious post punk -– all as the … Read more