Review
Freshman 15
Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands

Standby (2009) Campbell

Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands cover artwork
Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands — Standby, 2009

This is a tough one. At some point, there was a crossover between cheesy melodic pop-punk and the worn-out "scene" image of white belts and devil locks. It became cool to sound like Simple Plan as long as you listened to August Burns Red, and constantly posted pictures of how tough your band looks. I've done my best to avoid this topic as much as possible, because complaining about it only brings attention to a demographic I'd like everyone to forget. But I have also been known to pick through these millennial pop-punk manifestations, as a handful of them are not part of this strange metalcore aesthetic, or are simply capable of writing catchy songs that aren't lame. So I'll bite my tongue for the time being.

Freshman 15 are a four-piece from Georgia, and all members appear to be under the legal drinking age, although they boast that they originally formed in 2001. As far as I can tell, this is their second release and first full-length, entitled Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands. The album opens with "Phoenix Can Keep You," starting with a poppy guitar melody that is joined by the appropriate hopping drum section and high-pitched vocals. I wanted to be wrong about this band, but there's so many clichés on the first track alone that there's no way this record could redeem itself. But hey, I have plenty of musical guilty pleasures, so who knows where this could go, right?

The album essentially progressed just as I expected. I can hear each song use the exact same power chords over and over, with the harmonizing layered vocals about summers and ex-girlfriends only coming in at the chorus. Everything is relatively catchy, I'll give Freshman 15 that, but it's just not that good. I can think of a number of bands that execute this style much better, or at least don't embarrass themselves quite as much. They even have the obligatory slow ballad, "The Truth About Liars," with an acoustic guitar and sparse piano.

I can see that this band would like to be slightly tongue-in-cheek, with their band name and album title referring to a stage of life they have yet to reach. But instead, it comes off as unconvincing and doesn't even succeed in being a novelty act. Freshman 15 is a marketing ploy at its finest, using internet popularity to inflate a marginally talented group of high school kids to be "the next big thing." Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands is pleasant enough that plenty of kids will eat it up, but it's too imitative to get past mid-level Warped tour status at most. As the first line of this album states, "Okay, we get it, nobody is as scene as you."

2.0 / 10Campbell • March 30, 2009

Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands cover artwork
Freshman 15 – Throw Up Your Hands for One Night Stands — Standby, 2009

Recently-posted album reviews

The Dwarves

Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows
GREEDY (2025)

Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows is a live studio recording from 1989, released on picture disc earlier this year on limited vinyl for Record Store Day. Given that it came shortly before the release of Blood, Guts & Pussy, it's no surprise that it's heavy on songs from that record (10 of 14, if I've counted correctly). It's more primal than … Read more

Osmium

Osmium
Invada (2025)

Osmium brings together four artistic heavyweights, united not just by a shared experimental ethos, but by a love of bespoke and often self-made instruments. On their debut record, Hildur Guðnadóttir harnesses the unstable feedback of the halldorophone, a cello-like instrument designed by Halldór Úlfarsson. James Ginzburg (emptyset) contributes tamboura-like drones using a monocord of his own design. Sam Slater operates … Read more

Lutheran Heat

Hi Again
Pinata Records (2025)

Lutheran Heat have one of my favorite band names, a distinctly Minnesota tongue-in-cheek nod to local culture and mannerisms. But while I dig the band name, that's not really relevant to the rest of this review. Hi Again is their first record in 9 years, but it continues their garagey indie-punk tones. Expect garage rock guitar tones, slacker indie rock … Read more