Reviews Goldie Lookin' Chain Safe as Fuck

Goldie Lookin' Chain

Safe as Fuck

2004 was an odd year in the United Kingdom. The word 'chav' became part of everyday life, there was an extremely hot summer (the likes of which we had never seen), and a bizarre group of Welshmen came out of nowhere to become the most talked about group of the year (mainly in the tabloids). Goldie Lookin' Chain's Greatest Hits, or Straight out of Newport as the American version was called, was a fun-time album with songs about mother's having sex changes, men dressing as robots, and a rapper who couldn't be trusted. So could the boys latest major label effort continue the fun and joy brought to the nation so easily?

The simple answer is no. Safe as Fuck is a horrible waste of time. The band seems to try to take the joke further, but fall flat. The album starts well with lead single 'Your Missus is a Nutter,' something that will raise a smile from most faces with it's silly lyrics of woman troubles and an amazingly well utilized sample of the Serge Gainsbourg and Jean Claude Vainnier jazz funk song 'Cannabis' which, was probably chosen not only because it is frankly superb, but also for the name. From there the album just descends into poor sketches, drug humor and an attempt to re-hash 'Your Mother's Got a Penis' to sadly not quite the same effect.

I guess if the album does have one thing going for it; it is the sample finding skills of producer P. Xain. The only track after 'Your Missus is a Nutter' to really stand out in a good way is 'Charmschool' and only for the great use of the Grange Hill theme. If you don't know Grange Hill though, the use of the sample will just go straight over your head.

Songs such as 'R'n B'' and 'Hit Song' whilst meant to be parodies and attacks on what is popular at the moment don't seem all that different or well done to get away with the attacks that the band are aiming for. The band after only one album has fallen into self parody, which I guess only happens when you take your own press too seriously. It's not helped by some of the worst rapping you will ever hear. Accompanied by a sample from Howard Blake's 'The Snowman,' 'Paranoia,' a song about the fear after smoking too much weed, (which is a common theme throughout the album) is terrible. The awful lyrics that I guess are meant to be funny, fall flat and even make you cringe at times.

I wanted to like this album, I really did. I thought the first album was inspired and an interesting take on the whole rap image. This album, however, is a piece of crap. I feel bad for P. Xain, he is clearly a gifted producer with an ear for a decent sample and to be stuck with this lot is a waste of talent. I hope for his sakes that he breaks away from the Goldie Lookin' Chain and works with some legitimate talent before it becomes too late. The rest I guess can look forward to being the 'stars' of Newport when the record deal gets removed.

3.0 / 10Peanut
KFAI - Roar of the Underground
Leave a comment



3.0 / 10

3.0 / 10

Share this content
KFAI - Root Of All Evil
Recent reviews

Blut Aus Nord


9.0 / 10 Blut Aus Nord  - Hallucinogen album cover

Having a twenty-five year long career is an achievement in itself, yet crafting works that can stand as a whole and as a part of each other is another level ...

Prince Daddy & The Hyena

Cosmic Thrill Seekers

10.0 / 10 Prince Daddy & The Hyena - Cosmic Thrill Seekers album cover

When pop punk and emo reached their commercial peaks in the mid 00’s, many believed the subgenres had lost their edges. Artists like Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance ...

Idle Hands


8.5 / 10 Idle Hands - Mana album cover

The metal scene is one that moves in cycles, with sub-genres becoming the flavour of the month before the hot new thing moves in to take over the masses for ...



Looking for the SPB logo? You can download it in a range of styles and colours here:

Click anywhere outside this dialog to close it, or press escape.