Doghouse Records used to be one of my favorite labels. Their early roster included Endpoint, Falling Forward, Split Lip, etc. who in the 90's defined the vastly underrated Louisville/Midwest hardcore sound. It was emotive but heavy, melodic but hard; the sound was just everything great about the middle part of the country that happened in the last decade. Owner Dirk Hemsath expanded his roster and released awesome albums by Hot Water Music and the Get Up Kids. Hell even that Favez band wasn't that bad. Then the bigger bands went onto bigger and better things and Hemsath was stuck with a less than sub par lineup. Then one day an intern fished a demo tape out of the garbage, listened to it, and urged Hemsath to sign the band. She was onto something because that band was none other than the All-American Rejects - yeah, that band.
The All-American Rejects with their overly sappy songs and videos about Def Leppard t-shirts saved Doghouse from mid-level indie rock nothingness. Now Doghouse goes out of its was to sign any band that might swing some beaucoup bucks their way by signing simmering slick pop acts like Meg and Dia and that God awful Say Anything. The things I'd do these days to hear another Endpoint album or anything remotely like it.
I'm wishing on a pipe dream thinking that Doghouse will reclaim their past and find the next Chamberlain because let's face it, those bands don't pack venues across the nation with swoopy haired children. Jet Lag Gemini (oh look an actual review in here) is yet another band on Doghouse that play perfect pop-"punk" songs for perfect children so they can dance perfectly before they get into their parents' perfect SUVs and retire to the perfect ranch style homes in the perfect suburbs.
Fire the Cannons is so slick you could probably squeeze it like an orange and use it to lube up....your car. What the hell did you think I was going to say? Perverts. Jet Lag Gemini play lifeless limp placid pop-rock that it makes Journey look like Burzum. Speaking of Journey, Jet Lag Gemini isn't afraid to show that "hot licks equal hot chicks" as their guitar player shows his Guitar Hero expertise on almost ever track. "Fit to Tied" has a guitar solo that had me running towards the hills in its Maiden-esque perfection. Scary. I wish this band were Iron Maiden then the fret board wanking I just witnessed would of made perfect sense in a song about demons and wizards, not chicks and missing them.
Fire the Cannons is yet another CD in an vast ocean of useless pop acts all grasping for brass rings attached to hungry sharks named Soundscan and Myspace. I don't blame Dirk or Doghouse for signing bands like this; every great label from the 90's went the same route. EVR, Victory, and Trustkill all smelled the blood in water and scooped up one lame pop act after another to make some cash. We all can't live in two bedroom apartments our entire lives filling envelopes with free stickers and vinyl to some nerd in Sweden that really loves Majority of One. Nevertheless, you won't catch me listening to Jet Lag Gemini or anything else Doghouse panders to the masses these days. I just know better.
