Review
The Neptunas
Mermaid A-Go-Go

Altered State Of Reverb (2020) Christopher D

The Neptunas – Mermaid A-Go-Go cover artwork
The Neptunas – Mermaid A-Go-Go — Altered State Of Reverb, 2020



Tell ‘em Charlie sent you!? Dolphin safe Tuna-free of long lining, bottom trawling, and blood shrimp. Sustainable fishing has cast the long sea of doubt with shadows of ghost nets dancing and entangling, engulfing innocent species with its dark hand of doom claw-like grasp.

Alas ascending from Neptune’s bikini bottomless cavernous cretin encrusted trident thrust through the decrepit blackened charbroiled throbbing fatty deposits omakase broken-hearted industry of evil tainted enterprise.

Twanging like Eddy and chipping like Dale with the hunger of a manta WRAY. These sirens beckon thee out to a watery bog, encapsulating energy-draining nuances filled with Nitrate, Napalm, and numbing agents. Come with me my love to the Sea ..the sea of love.

Frolicking innocently bobbing Manowar (not to be confused with the dragon-riding codpiece wearing metal band) awaiting to brush tenderly like Dalis psychedelicized surreal brush stroke. Stinging venom-filled nematocysts writhing in Ventures of affliction. Death Rattle buzz gasping water-filled pneumonic plague. Catching a ride under the waves of endless summer and french fry stealing squawking dank dive bomb kamikaze seagulls. Jubblified jabberwocky clutching nuclear melting cryogenic cones screaming for one last ride upon vomit-inducing carny folk assembled bolt throwers. Greta groaning hoary evil Teletubbie sun rays blasting popping fluid-filled pus sacks encrusting carcinogen-filled nose cream further into busted cartilage. Refractory hammerheads mammocking single droplets of nostril fuel sending vaticinating vampires into false negative waves. Remember kids nothing smaller than an elbow must be inserted into the breathe holes and be true to your school even though most don't have a physical one these days.

Live for the Sun, Sun, Sun, Son...using Brian Wilson’s bed springs to rebound back into life as the ocean air fills your pores with heat, beer, and waves of lore.

J'apprécie la musique de surf même lorsque je suis amené à ériger des mamelons à des températures inférieures à zéro.

The Neptunas – Mermaid A-Go-Go cover artwork
The Neptunas – Mermaid A-Go-Go — Altered State Of Reverb, 2020

Recently-posted album reviews

Sahan Jayasuriya

Don’t Say Please: The Oral History of Die Kreuzen
Feral House (2026)

For those of us who spent the mid-to-late 1980s navigating basement community halls, churches, and loveable, armpit-smelling dive bars, the name Die Kreuzen was a permanent fixture on the punk rock radar. They were the sound of the Midwest underground --too fast for the goths to do their spooky Bela Lugosi "shoo the bats away" interpretive dance, too technical for … Read more

Sewer Urchin

Global Urination
Independent (2025)

There’s a fine line between crossover thrash that feels dangerous and crossover thrash that just feels like a party. Global Urination doesn’t bother choosing because it does both loudly and without apology. St. Louis’ Sewer Urchin have been grinding since 2019, and on their latest full length they double down on everything that makes the genre work. They give us … Read more

Ingested

Denigration
Metal Blade (2026)

For a band that built its name on sheer brutality, Ingested have spent the last several years refining what that brutality actually means. With their newest release, Denigration, the band finds that continuing evolution. They’re still punishing, still precise, but noticeably more controlled and deliberate in how it all lands. From the outset, the record makes its intentions clear. “Dragged … Read more