Review
Sir Millard Mulch
How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and for All

Mimicry (2005) Michael

Sir Millard Mulch – How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and for All cover artwork
Sir Millard Mulch – How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and for All — Mimicry, 2005

If I had to nominate an album for the most bizarre and intriguing release of 2005 thus far, I would have no problem choosing Sir Millard Mulch's How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and For All for that award. This two disc album - marketed as a three disc venture for comedic purposes that I'll explain later - contains sixty-four tracks of Casio-inspired surf-guitar/acid-rock/noise/mania that is an audio accompaniment to a 200+ page book that Mulch has also released. I haven't read the book, but my bet is it's just a zany as this album.

Sir Millard Mulch, whose real name is Paul Mavanu, is not only a musical composer, but also an author and an essayist. He has written pieces on a vast array of topics and by doing so has amassed quite a cult following of musical admirers - some of which contribute to this release: Devin Townshed of Strapping Young Lad, Nils Frykdahl of Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Chris Parsons of Estradasphere, Morgan Agren of Frank and Dweezil Zappa's backing bands among many many others made contributions to this release.

Over the course of the two albums - fittingly titled "Creation" and "Motivation" to coincide with the album's general title - Mulch and his bunch of coconspirators venture through what I can only best describe as a myriad of new-wave, rock, metal, and jazz perfect those who like to do acid, mushrooms, and all other sorts of drugs. But this doesn't mean you have to be on drugs to enjoy this, though I have a sneaking suspicion it may help. Occasionally Mulch diverts from his original adventures in music and fills the time with spoken word tracks, mock commercials ("Dennis Rodman Fukking Basketball 1998"), and even touch-in-cheek covers: Creed's "Higher" and Mr. Bungle's "Merry Go Bye Bye" just to name a couple.

Essentially this two disc venture is an inside-joke that nobody gets and was likely created to open a portal to Dimension-X. Or at least that is this reviewer's interpretation. And while it is not an album to be taken seriously, there are occasional moments spaced throughout the discs that I found myself actually enjoying the music as music. I suppose I have some sort of involuntary disposition towards liking Mulch's music as I grew up listening to a lot of 80's pop and new-wave; there for those damn Atari-esque keyboards/snyths draw me like a hooker to drugs.

Finally, there is supposed to be a third disc, which is given the subtitle "Transmutation" containing the track "Mundus Imaginalis / Journey to the Underworld of Buyer's Remorse." If the sarcastic title doesn't clue you into its lack of existence, then you're an idiot and deserve to be conned out of all your money and live the rest of your life as a hobo.

It's not surprising to find out that admirer Trey Spruance (Mr. Bungle) released this effort on his own label - Mimicry Records. Spruance is known for releasing left-of-center endeavors and Mulch's release is exceedingly left of left. I won't suggest this album to just anyone, if fact I'm not really sure whom to recommend this album to. If you've got money to spare and are looking for something to completely blow your mind, then by all means go out and purchase How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and For All.

4.5 / 10Michael • August 4, 2005

Sir Millard Mulch – How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and for All cover artwork
Sir Millard Mulch – How to Sell the Whole Fucking Universe to Everybody... Once and for All — Mimicry, 2005

Recently-posted album reviews

Bitter Branches

Let's Give The Land Back To The Animals
Equal Vision (2026)

Sometimes when you think of a town you think of a certain sound. Philadelphia is not one of those cities for me, as the bands I know from the area vary a lot in style. Yes, there is the Dan Yemin tree (Lifetime / Kid Dynamite / Paint It Black) but there are also poppy bands and emo bands and … Read more

Top Jimmy & The Rhythm Pigs

Pigus Drunkus Maximus (Reissue)
Blind Owl Records (2026)

If rock ’n’ roll ever had a smoky, beer-soaked, throbbing heartbeat, it lives in Top Jimmy & The Rhythm Pigs’ Pigus Drunkus Maximus. Recorded in 1981 but not released until 1987 on Restless Records, the album always felt like a document out of time — lightning caught like fireflies in clumsy hands, then bottled too long. This newly remastered reissue, … Read more

Dream Fatigue

No Requiem
Daze (2026)

There’s a particular tension that makes alternative rock compelling. I love the emotional push and pull between softness and eruption. On No Requiem, Massachusetts outfit Dream Fatigue thrive in that space, crafting a seven song EP that balances dreamlike melody with bursts of distortion and emotional urgency. Born from the creative partnership between drummer Matt Wood and vocalist Jonali McFadden, … Read more