ARTICLE JUMP
Normally we would forgo making lists of things that we dislike as we'd much rather talk about things that we love about music. But, sometimes, there are these things, and I'm talking about atrocities here, there are these things, and well, they... I lost my train of thought...
- Emo hip-hop
- Vo-coder
- Paramore
- Scarlett Johansson
- "Satanic" bands
Let's not kid ourselves here. These bands that fuse together hip-hop, pop-punk/hardcore, and MTV emo are nothing more than abominations of music. Last time I checked bands have to play their instruments, not just have members attempting to rhyme over awful beats. And knock it off with the neon colors and vintage 80's looks, they weren't cool back in the 80's, so why would they be now? 3oh!3, Hyper Crush, Family Force Five, Cobra Starship, and all those bands on Punk Goes Crunk... I guess getting thirteen year-old girls to swoon over you is what you want out of life, so be my guest.
Dear T-Pain, knock it off! It's bad enough that every hip-hop and rap emcee is using this device, now we have "hardcore" bands and even artists in country music using the vo-coder. Thanks a lot, jerk!
Even though they didn't release a new studio album in 2008, Paramore found a way to torment me further. A live CD/DVD came out. And then there was that horrible song on the Twilight movie soundtrack. If I see another fourteen year-old girl that thinks she is a vampire and is in love with Edward... oh man... well, if you've seen Falling Down, you know what's on tap.
I realize I said I would not longer mention this, but I have to, it's just so bad. Though she was the front-runner at the mid-year break, Ms. Johansson has fallen to the number four spot for her abomination of a musical album. Don't let her number four spot fool you, Anywhere I Lay My Head is a disgrace to music, especially that of Tom Waits, of whom she covered for the majority of the songs on her album.
Okay, all this posturing of bands being satanic or having lyrics that are rooted in satanic imagery really has to go. Unless you are King Diamond I'm really not going to believe that you're satanic. Odds are you go to church on Sundays with your Mom and Dad. So unless I see you performing satanic rituals I'm just going to assume you're faking it for image-sake.
(Michael)
