Twitchy (Ritchie) didn't have it much better (see DK's 'In Sight'). With all the shit we put up with back then, he still didn't conform half as much as I did, and I always admired the hell out of him for it, even though I think he wishes he did things differently.
It was about this time that I turned to thievery. Petty theft, shoplifting and the like. Make no mistake - I'm a man with many, many regrets, but there is no period in my entire life where I have been more ashamed of myself and my actions. Not surprisingly, my parents were unsupportive in my entrepreneurial endeavours, and unable to find an alternative reason - my mother blamed the music I listened to, which by that time included such parental favourites as Venom, Slayer and Mercyful Fate. She felt helpless. My mother was not one to ever look for a scapegoat when it came to parenting, but the selfish little bastard I had become had made her exhaust all reasonable options. Of course it wasn't the music, but desperate times calls for desperate measures, no?
In retrospect â?? I have no idea why I did stupid shit like that. I suppose I felt helpless too. I felt trapped. I guess I've never liked to be pigeonholed, so when people thought of me as a good boy, I had to prove them wrong. There's still times I think they're wrong, but that's a whole other story. I digress....
My mother sent my brother down to my room to confiscate any albums deemed Satanic. Being a devout Catholic, she felt religion usually dictated decision-making abilities rather than individual will. I've always found it to be the chicken and the egg argument, but what do I know? I do know this musical influence notion was only half-hearted, as she knew that I knew where she kept the albums, but turned a blind eye. Giving me more credit than I ever gave myself, she figured/hoped it was just a phase that I was going through, and I'd get my shit together soon enough. She was right, and I soon became a productive member of society once more.
Somewhere in all this angst, was punk. I knew of it. I knew there was an ideology to go with the music, but it seemed like a lot of work. I was young. I was self-absorbed. Ideology would surely fuck that up. It took years before I truly understood the nature of the punk ethos, and it wasn't until then that I appreciated it. Twitch caught on long before I did. I was too busy looking at James Hetfield's bitchen hair to notice the Misfits shirts he wore. So, I was familiar with punk music, but I was too distracted by production value to really notice.
That's not so much the case anymore. Now that I'm a mature, enlightened individual I understand the nature of such things. I have one criteria for music I listen to: do I like it? As the unlucky few that know me would surely tell you, I have 'music' in my collection that clearly has not been made for human consumption, but fuck it. I like it. If other people don't, that's really not important, is it? After all, it's only music.
Part III: Seminal Moments In History
"Sep. 15, 1994 "Waiting with my friend and numerous other strangers at a side entrance so my friend can get Tori Amos' autograph. She comes out, sees me - walks over and hugs me saying "Big guys always get hugs", gets in her limo, and drives off. I'm hated by all in attendance. I tell everyone else I banged her."
Words: Kevin Fitzpatrick