Feature / Music
Music History: I Was A Teenage Headbanger (II)

Words: Kevin Fitzpatrick • Posted pre-2010

This also began my foray into Heavy Metal fashion sense (or lack thereof). Long hair, studded wristbands, the whole she-bang(er). I would wake up each day and ask myself "What would Lars Ulrich wear?" Who knew that someday it'd be Armani? Needless to say, that kind of expressionism was frowned upon back then and I was harassed on a daily basis. "A- Ha!" thought I, "when I do my speech in class about the PMRC and their insidious plot to take over the world with the strains of Twisted Sister's 'You Can't Stop Rock 'n Roll' as the background score, they'll have to respect me". Yeah right. I was still a loser. More so. More torment. More ridicule.

Twitchy (Ritchie) didn't have it much better (see DK's 'In Sight'). With all the shit we put up with back then, he still didn't conform half as much as I did, and I always admired the hell out of him for it, even though I think he wishes he did things differently.

It was about this time that I turned to thievery. Petty theft, shoplifting and the like. Make no mistake - I'm a man with many, many regrets, but there is no period in my entire life where I have been more ashamed of myself and my actions. Not surprisingly, my parents were unsupportive in my entrepreneurial endeavours, and unable to find an alternative reason - my mother blamed the music I listened to, which by that time included such parental favourites as Venom, Slayer and Mercyful Fate. She felt helpless. My mother was not one to ever look for a scapegoat when it came to parenting, but the selfish little bastard I had become had made her exhaust all reasonable options. Of course it wasn't the music, but desperate times calls for desperate measures, no?

In retrospect â?? I have no idea why I did stupid shit like that. I suppose I felt helpless too. I felt trapped. I guess I've never liked to be pigeonholed, so when people thought of me as a good boy, I had to prove them wrong. There's still times I think they're wrong, but that's a whole other story. I digress....

My mother sent my brother down to my room to confiscate any albums deemed Satanic. Being a devout Catholic, she felt religion usually dictated decision-making abilities rather than individual will. I've always found it to be the chicken and the egg argument, but what do I know? I do know this musical influence notion was only half-hearted, as she knew that I knew where she kept the albums, but turned a blind eye. Giving me more credit than I ever gave myself, she figured/hoped it was just a phase that I was going through, and I'd get my shit together soon enough. She was right, and I soon became a productive member of society once more.

Somewhere in all this angst, was punk. I knew of it. I knew there was an ideology to go with the music, but it seemed like a lot of work. I was young. I was self-absorbed. Ideology would surely fuck that up. It took years before I truly understood the nature of the punk ethos, and it wasn't until then that I appreciated it. Twitch caught on long before I did. I was too busy looking at James Hetfield's bitchen hair to notice the Misfits shirts he wore. So, I was familiar with punk music, but I was too distracted by production value to really notice.

That's not so much the case anymore. Now that I'm a mature, enlightened individual I understand the nature of such things. I have one criteria for music I listen to: do I like it? As the unlucky few that know me would surely tell you, I have 'music' in my collection that clearly has not been made for human consumption, but fuck it. I like it. If other people don't, that's really not important, is it? After all, it's only music.

Part III: Seminal Moments In History

"Sep. 15, 1994 "Waiting with my friend and numerous other strangers at a side entrance so my friend can get Tori Amos' autograph. She comes out, sees me - walks over and hugs me saying "Big guys always get hugs", gets in her limo, and drives off. I'm hated by all in attendance. I tell everyone else I banged her."

Words: Kevin Fitzpatrick

Graphics: Matt

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