Features Regular Columns Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Lean Times

Regular Columns: Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Lean Times

blag_column.pngI’ve been thinking about rich people lately, partly because I’d like to be one and partly because rich people as a group are such horrible human beings. I want to pursue my interests without worrying about money and, since my interests amount to reading, writing, rocking and fucking (in reverse order), I don’t really think it would have much effect on my fellow man one way or the other if my finances suddenly improved.

If only the same could be said of those that own and control pretty much everything. Unfortunately, it can’t. The rich by definition are responsible for the inequities in our society; that, and despoiling the environment with industry, degrading the political system with influence and shredding the social contract that working class folks have sacrificed to create.

"If you offered me your Facebook shares I could even put aside my distaste for Mark Zuckerberg long enough to accept them,"

Then again, if given the choice between McDonald’s and Chez Panisse I know where I’d rather eat, and while cars, boats, and jewelry don’t mean much to me, it still turns me on to hear Jigga rap about them. I’d rather bed a fine looking girl in a nice outfit than a troll in a raggedy one. And the stock market may be an exclusive club completely removed from the harsh realities of the real economy, but if you offered me your Facebook shares I could even put aside my distaste for Mark Zuckerberg long enough to accept them.

Recently, the COO of Facebook, a female, wrote a book about how women need to “lean in” more and get what’s coming to them in the business world. Why women would want to work 80 hours a week and take part in the dehumanizing agony that is corporate culture she wastes no words on. Meanwhile, over at struggling Yahoo, the CEO forbade working from home for the mothers she employs, while at the same time building a nursery near her desk so she could spend more time bonding with her own children. How Marie Antoinette managed to become CEO of Yahoo is not clear at this time, but I’m sure they are working on an algorithm to solve that mystery as we speak.

No doubt both of these smart, successful women believe that their example can be a boon to everyone, from hard charging execs like themselves to the shop girls of Haight Street and the hookers on Capp. If only that were anywhere near true.

What is true is that the rich will continue to plunder this planet until there is nothing left to plunder, at which point one of them will invent an exchange that speculates on exactly how far the human race has fallen and how fast it will take to build another one, so they can ruin it all over again.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go online and check my finances. It won’t take long.

March, 2013


Posted on March 17, 2013, 1:58 p.m.

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Guest Column: Blag Dahlia - Lean Times

Posted on March 17, 2013, 1:58 p.m.

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