Review / 200 Words Or Less
Stiletto Assassins
Self Titled

Independent (2011) Aaron H

Stiletto Assassins – Self Titled cover artwork
Stiletto Assassins – Self Titled — Independent, 2011

I don't really know where to begin with this EP. Its groovy rock sensibilities throw back to 70's glam rock, but without the theatrics and clever satire. I don't think I get it. Part of me thinks it's intentionally a joke, while the other half of me believes it's to be taken seriously. I'm inclined to lean towards the former due to song titles such as, "Tigerblood" and "Samurai." Let me just say though that writing songs about Charlie Sheen is just as bad as having to listen to him.

It's clear I'm not the intended audience for this, and that's fine. Whoever it is intended for though, perhaps tighter music playing would be beneficial. The drums are sloppy and the vocals were cringe-worthy. The only track I found bearable was the upbeat, "Virgin Dynamite." It's the only song that sounds like they actually spent time working on it. More tracks like this could make the band a bit more entertaining and work in their favor. However, I wouldn't expect them to hit the same status as Steel Panther anytime soon.

2.5 / 10Aaron H • September 24, 2012

Stiletto Assassins – Self Titled cover artwork
Stiletto Assassins – Self Titled — Independent, 2011

Recently-posted album reviews

Lethal Limits

Elevate EP
GhettoBlaster Productions (2025)

The archival hunt for the "missing links" of first-wave California punk usually leads through a trail of grainy handbill Xeroxes and tape traders' overdubbed copies. But with The Flyboys, the story has always been a bit more elegant—and a lot more colourful. Long before they were swept into the gravity of the Hollywood scene, frontman John Curry was already performing … Read more

The S.E.T.

Self Evident Truth
Flatspot Records (2026)

Hardcore doesn’t need reinventing; just needs conviction. On Self Evident Truth, Baltimore’s The S.E.T. come out swinging with a debut EP that’s built on exactly that. It’s got groove, urgency, and a clear sense of purpose. Clocking in at around fifteen minutes, the EP wastes no time establishing its identity. From the opening moments of “This Chain,” it’s all forward … Read more

Dashed

Self Titled
Independent (2026)

When a band describes themselves as surf punk, it usually conjures a certain image. Reverb drenched guitars, sunburnt melodies, maybe even a sense of looseness that leans more carefree than chaotic. Dashed doesn’t really fit that mold. On their self-titled LP, they take those familiar elements and run them through something colder, sharper, and far less predictable. Across eleven tracks, … Read more