During all of high school, Jen dated Zach. Jen was, hands down, the most beautiful girl in our year. Beyond that, she was extremely smart and cultured: she had been across Europe a couple of times and could tell you the capitals of all the provinces and states if she was asked. There wasn't a guy that I knew who didn't have some sort of a thing for her. None of us could figure out how Zach had managed to capture the affection of this chick. He was generally well liked, but by all accounts a nerd. He was good with math and occasionally tucked his t-shirt into his pants. One day during a particularly boring history class, in which we were watching a documentary on Canada's slow progress towards Confederation, we struck up a conversation. It didn't take me long to figure out what Zach had going for him, and subsequently why he had maintained a long term relationship with the girl everyone both wanted to sleep with and bring home to mom. Zach was a geek, but he had cultivated and presented his eccentricities into some sort of un-ironic anti-cool cool. Well I was clinging to my combat boots and apathy, this kid was embracing his esoteric passions and love for book knowledge with an unencumbered sense of earnestness
and it was getting him laid.
It's not hard to see the comparisons between Zach and The Johnson Report. The first time I caught the band was in an Engineering cafeteria at the University of Toronto. They all wore matching outfits and looked like a bunch of temps on the first day of their business placements. Every song they played that night sounded like a mid nineties power pop band covering Van Morrison, and people were eating it up. The foursome rocked out, and shook their hips, and high-fived after the set was finished. Later they handed out business cards with the group's website and booking info to anybody who'd take one. It's not that they were best band that played there that evening, they were the opening act, but they were the most likable. Now, two years after that show, The Johnson Report have released their self-titled EP in hopes of moving past the endearing nerd stick to a solid place among the local bar scene.
Borrowing from the full gamut of geek rock, The Johnson Report push out five tracks that are four parts Weezer, one part Muse, while adding in their own cheesy quips to the mix. This is best showcased in the disc's middle track "Mediocre Man" which highlights lead singer Barn's inability to come to terms with his own lack of success: a song which would easily fit the sad montage for just about every romantic comedy ever written. Alternately the band is able to touch base with their rock side on the track "Losing Patients" that showcases some fancy guitar work and the band's technical prowess.
What works about the EP is that, if given the chance, The Johnson Report is able to put across the charm that's drawn in their small but loyal fan base to the live shows. Unfortunately that charm can only hold on for so long. The group has the right idea, but their success depends on what they're able to do with it.
