Of all of the promos in the pile in the corner of my room, Weapons are Useless has been languishing there the longest, festering silently, crying out to be reviewed. From time to time I would pop the disk into my laptop, in a vain attempt to make something of what Your Eyes My Dreams had dumped upon me. It was no easy task. On numerous occasions I found myself glancing back at Media Player and finding, to my surprise, that one track had ended and another had begun. I would give a play-by-play of each track, if only I could find any details to tell them apart. Suffice to say, they are all terrible especially the hidden rap track, that sounds as if it was recorded by a bunch of five year olds.
If I had to give this Delaware quintets debut another name, it would be something more along the lines of This Album is Useless - unless you have run out of AOL demo disks and are in the market for a new coaster or want something to torture your friends and family with. Unoriginal and uninspiring "melodic hardcore," listeners are likely to be left wanting back the forty minutes Your Eyes My Dreams just stole from them, seemingly without purpose. Even watching paint dry would have been more bearable, and not nearly so offensive to the senses.
According to Indianola Records, Your Eyes My Dreams "strive to spread the word of Christ while playing the music they love." I'm not the world's biggest fan of Christianity but, right now, I feel pretty sorry for Christ. In fact, I can imagine him hearing this "modern interpretation" of His "word" and spinning like a cyclone in his grave. I'd like to take this opportunity to offer my deepest apologies on behalf of Your Eyes My Dreams to Jesus Christ, the Christian community and anyone who has had the misfortune of hearing Weapons are Useless. To the band themselves, I say this: don't give up your day job, boys.
