Top Five Reasons Why Touring The Southern United States Scares SPB
- Bars that need to buzz you in so that you can get inside - This concept scares me. Why does one need to be buzzed into a bar that is obviously not carding anyone anyway? When fifteen-year-old girls are getting booze as easy as fifty-year-old men, why is the security needed?
- U-Haul places run out of people's houses - Yeah, when you drive up to a shack and see two or three U-Hauls in the dirt driveway where there are naked children being chased by the same person from which you are trying to rent a vehicle, it gives reason for pause.
- Deliverance - Enough said, no need to go on about this.
- Breaking down in the South rules - Yeah, the thought of being stranded in the South again really does not appeal to me in any way shape or form. The first time resulted in nightmares of reason number three and pulling up to reason number two. I would rather not go through that again. The nightmares lasted for at least four months following.
- Being told on numerous occasions that the "South will rise again" - It is disturbing that multiple residents of various southern states found it necessary to proclaim this to me. I found it humorous the first time. After the next few times, it made me uncomfortable. When the double digits started ticking away, it became obvious that some of them were serious.
(Bob)
Top Five Reasons Not To Hate The New Against Me! Album
So yeah, Against Me! sold out (sort of) and went the major label route, lying to all their fans and, yes, the album isn't up to par with their other releases. Here are five reasons most of you should shut your fucking mouths and take a serious listen. Besides there are worse offenders; who remembers No Warning's Suffer, Survive? I'm trying to block it out too.
- Before you were punk as fuck you loved this kind of stuff, probably worse. Nobody starts off with a turntable and back catalog of Plan-It-X releases.
- Against Me! is not your girlfriend, so who cares if they say something and do something else.
- Against Me! is not your local government official so who cares if they lied. Sure it's a bummer but how many of us live our lives to the exact Against Me! philosophy.
- How many of you are in a full-time touring band or aren't living the comfortable life off mommy and daddy's tab? Dumpster diving is cool as shit and gives your cred, but a hot meal wins every time. If you say otherwise, you're a liar. Case closed.
- For those eighteen and over as of 2004, how many actually voted or took a seriously active role in politics rather thank playing armchair philosopher throwing back PBR's.
(Scottie)
