Music Re: The Words "Tough" And "Hard," And Bands Touring
People That Didn't Like The Movie Cloverfield
Turning Twenty In 2008
Homophobia And Misogyny
Alcohol Not Called Joose
Bugs
Unnecessarily Irrelevant Blogs
People Buying The New Disturbed Album
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
iPhone 3G
As much as a trend as "solid dudes" was in 2007, describing bands in 2008 as "tough" or "hard" will generally mean any or all of these things: the band loves camo shorts, the band loves Nike dunks, the band is Cold World. While hardcore is slowly becoming a cliché upon itself, loosing all originality and falling back on fifteen different t-shirt designs and Boflex-esque promo pictures, "hard" and "tough" become the slogans of bands that could easily kick my ass for wearing blue jeans. It's easy enough to make fun of dance-party hipsters; it's even easier to make fun of jocks in hardcore that make fun of dance-party hipsters. Please drop and become one. While 2008 will go down as the words-that-could-describe-a-logger's-penis stage in hardcore, it will also be the year of insane gas prices. Thank Christ! My car is not a gas-guzzler, so everyone with an SUV looses again. Touring bands also loose, which is something I fully support. Why? Because 90% of bands that tour should not. Simply having some merch and a CD-R does not warrant you touring the Eastcoast when you've never played a show outside of North Dakota. And no, you shouldn't bring your friends' band either.
I don't really give a shit about JJ Abrams, Lost, viral marketing, or anything else that involves not having a life. What I do know is that not liking this movie is more of a threat to America than Osama Bin Laden, tomatoes with salmonella, and hurricane season combined into a giant tomato with a beard and ten-foot high sea wall. Why? It's easily one of greatest movies ever made behind The Sandlot. I've heard many objections to not liking this movie, but none of them have any legitimacy at all. A movie consisting of little dialogue, a monster that destroys New York, and little scorpion monsters that make your body explode when they bite you is easily one of the greatest creations of the century. I officially request a Cloverfield 2 to be shot from the monster's perspective, as it punches buildings and eats people that don't recognize the masterpiece of cinema that is Cloverfield.
There is no question that twenty is the most worthless birthday one can have. Besides being like, really fucking old, there's not a really sweet new pack of cigarettes I couldn't buy before or some secret porno only a twenty-year-old can buy. All that is gained is not being a teenager anymore, something nobody in his or her right mind should ever want. On top of that, as soon as you turn twenty, all of your friends turn twenty-one, making life less bearable that a Xiu Xiu song. Instead of everyone drinking on a deck and smoking cigarettes, everyone is now drinking at a bar and smoking cigarettes, except for you, because your parents managed to successfully mate one year after the rest of the world.
Not that degrading homosexuals and women is a trend that hasn't existed for 2000 years, but coming back to work at a restaurant, where that shit is more rampant than herpes at my university, has made me give up hope on humanity in three short months. How miserable does one have to be in their life to degrade another by using the words "faggot," "bitch," and "slut?" Listening to conversations between chefs and managers that run a $30 million dollar restaurant is the equivalent of being in a middle-school locker-room with thirteen-year-old boys talking about getting to second base and describing their first pubes. Unfortunately these are forty-year-old obese men calling me a faggot because I'm a vegetarian and calling girls sluts or bitches because there's a snowball's chance in hell that they would ever be interested. This is certainly not limited to my job either, making homophobia and misogyny one of the most disgusting and terrifying things of the not-so-progressive 21st Century.
If there was ever a company to market and sell death to college kids, it would certainly be Joose, and I am cashing in my life insurance. For $2.50, you get a twenty-one-ounce beverage that consists of 10% malt liquor, as well as energy comparable to a Red Bull. Drink two of those before you go out and your energetic enough to replicate the WTO Riots and drunk enough to fight the cops. As much as I used to love all forms of alcohol, I now despise it because of its inability to compare to Joose. With an 11% brand rumored to be coming out in the future, unknown or quite possibly known side effects, not limited to radiation and spontaneous combustion, are almost a guarantee to appear.
(Cory)
You're not welcome here! I'm sick of killing big beetles and wasps trying to come up on all my stuff. To all you bugs: stay outside and you'll stay alive. You're no match for me and a rolled-up Slap mag.
Everyone who has a blog now seems to think that they are a published journalist. I think there should be policing for blogs so they can stamp some of them "Seriously, no one cares." Now I'm all for people being able to express their own opinions on various topics, but don't write a blog to inflate your weak (or pointless) ideas. Post on a forum where you can actually be challenged instead of thinking you're a big tough guy trying to make everybody think your way.
P.S. This is not directed at Cory here at SPB; his blogs are hilarious. I'd like to read more like that.
Seriously? I'm hoping that no one reading this owns this album, but come on. How is anyone still interested in trashy mainstream nü-metal in 2008? The trend is dead and the style was transient. I can't believe there's anyone out there who still thinks that Chevelle is the best rock band playing. The fact that there are people who lower their music standards this low at this point in time is just depressing.
I didn't see this and I don't need to in order to hate it. This is the biggest marketing joke ever played on moviegoers, playing upon everyone's love of the original trilogy of blockbusters. Now, don't get me wrong, I like the first Indian Jones movies as much as the next person, but I'm sick of all these continuations and re-makes that disrespect the originals and dump more trash into popular cinema. But just like the Spiderman flicks, it doesn't matter how horrible the movie is, everyone and their mother will still go see it.
Greatest piece of technology ever, most amazing cell phone, blah blah blah. I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, you can get a dozen other phones that are less expensive and serve the same functions as this one. Plus, I like my buttons, and I like a flip-out keyboard. Touch screens just don't really do it for me. Not to mention, if you leave it unattended for half of a second, even the best people out there are looking to jack your iPhone and sell it on eBay. And when you get down to brass tacks, a phone is a phone, there's no reason to overdo it. Besides, who wants to have the same phone as every other rich tool in the country?
(Campbell)
