PART III: Seminal Moments In History
Dec. 6, 1986 While at an autograph signing from Cinderella, who were in town opening for David Lee Roth, I tell singer Tom Keifer how awesome he is. He says nothing.
Dec. 19, 1986 Waiting for Metallica at their bus, bump into Duke Erikson from opening band Metal Church, who was drunker than I've ever seen anyone in my entire life. Told him how awesome he is. He pukes and says nothing.
Dec. 28, 1987 Alice Cooper was supposed to have Motorhead and Doro Pesch's Warlock open for him. We got Faster Pussycat instead. Widely regarded by those who still discuss such things that there has not been a shittier band in town since. I wish I hadn't bought their album.
Sidenote: the fake blood that Alice uses in his shows is sugar based. It is very sticky and if not washed off leather jackets of your father's that you borrow without his knowledge immediately, will get moldy in the closet.
Mar.11, 1988 Kiss and Anthrax at the Pacific Coliseum. Get there early to meet Anthrax, of whom I was particularly enamoured with at that time. Tell Dan Spitz how awesome he is. But it was Frank Bello I was talking to. I am mortified. The only consolation was that I would soon see the band I was denied seeing so many years previous... Kiss. Got bored after 3 songs and went to the buses to talk to Scott Ian.
May 30, 1988 Waiting to meet the bands at an Iron Maiden/Guns and Roses show. Myself and maybe 7 others wait. And wait. And wait. After a few hours, Slash walks out the doors, pushes us aside and walks to his bus. Exits a moment later with a handful of guitar picks which he throws on the ground and everyone drops to their knees to collect. Slash then walks back inside, not saying a word. When he does come out a short while later, I take out my camera for a picture of the affable little chap. He turns his back gives me the finger and walks back inside, never to return. The roadie starts to yell at me, saying that he was going to sign autographs for everyone, until I took out a camera and ruined it. Expecting a Lord of the Flies type uprising with me as the sacrificial piggy, he watches us all disperse in bewilderment.
Oct. 22, 1988 Judas Priest/Slayer. Changed mind about meeting Slayer. What if they didn't like me? The Slash fiasco and it's ripple effects...
Apr. 23, 1989 Meet Tesla before their show with Poison. Very friendly. Told Jeff Keith how awesome he is. He says thanks.
Aug. 30, 1989 Afrikka Bambatta onstage with Ice-T slaps my hand during a show at the Commodore. I've crossed over.
Oct. 8, 1990 Danzig gives another guy in the audience a special little skull necklace. Why can't I be special?
Mar. 4, 1992 Forego Soundgarden at the Commodore to see Skid Row and Pantera at the Forum. Sebastian Bach lands on my head in an ill - advised stage dive. Lose the cowboy boots, asshole.
Mar. 14, 1992 I watch Mike Patton of Mr. Bungle hang from the tremolo bar of an oversized guitar on the wall of the 86St. Music Hall for screaming "Fuck You Screaming John" for twenty minutes. It is the dawn of a new era.
Jul.21, 1992 Maynard from Tool has the entire audience at Lollapalooza braying like sheep. Nobody gets the joke.
Sep. 4, 1993 Neil Young is selling embossed flannel shirts at his show for $85.00. Truly, a man of the people.
Jan. 4, 1994 Nirvana puts on quite a lackluster show at the PNE Forum. Had I known of the events to take place a few months later, I would have tried harder to get the setlist after the show.
Sep. 15, 1994 Waiting with my friend and numerous other strangers at a side entrance so my friend can get Tori Amos' autograph. She comes out, sees me, walks over and hugs me saying "Big guys always get hugs", gets in her limo, and drives off. I'm hated by all in attendance. I tell everyone else I banged her.