Lammie – Don't Buy Records
Scene Point Blank: Tell me a bit about who you are and what you do.
I'm Lammie. 39 years old, been listening to punk rock since my teens, discovered hardcore and DIY culture when I was about 18. Through reading Maximum Rocknroll I found out there were more bands than Epitaph, Fat Wreck and Hellcat were releasing. I dove right in and am still swimming, trying to keep my head above the water.
Scene Point Blank: Why did you start the label/distro?
I started the mailorder in 2009 thinking I could buy 5 copies of a record I like for wholesale, sell 4 for a fair price to people into the same music and keep the fifth for free. Through selling records I hoped to meet people with the same kind of interests. That's still more or less the idea, but nowadays I think more about what I want to stock and whether or not I can sell it than I used to. Records collecting dust on my shelves are no good for anybody.
Scene Point Blank: How many orders do you fill per week (or month -- feel free to estimate here or skip if you prefer)?
I don't know and it doesn't matter. Definitely less than before the social media days, but that's on me, because I'm not on those.
Scene Point Blank: How many countries do you ship to? What are the main destinations?
I have no idea, but most of the people who buy records from me are from Europe. There have been exceptions though. I once shipped a demo tape to a room in a Bangkok hotel. Don't Buy Records worldwide, baby!
Scene Point Blank: What medium do you send the most of (cd, vinyl, tape, zines, etc)?
Most of my sales are vinyl, but I also stock tapes and zines. The latter way too little to be honest, but they're tough sells. It seems people have been buying less 7"s lately, because they've become relatively expensive. Labels are pressing records that could easily fit a 7" on 12'' now.
Scene Point Blank: What is the official name of the post office or service you use in your country (e.g. United States Postal Service)?
It's called PostNL. It used to be a state owned but, like public transport, was privatized in the 1980s or 1990s. I was still in nappies, but Ronnie and Margareth had their disciples everywhere in the western world and the Netherlands were no exception.
Scene Point Blank: How often do you go to a post office or shipping center?
It depends. Sometimes a couple of times a week, but there are plenty of dry spells during which few orders come in. A lot has changed on this front throughout years. These days I have to print my own address stickers, which sucks. I used to make them by hand. I still do, but it feels silly and redundant now. Long live technological progress. All hail bar (and QR) codes!
Scene Point Blank: Basically, and this is the biggest question, what is the craziest story you've had with trying to ship an item to somebody?
My favorite story about doing the mailorder is about a shipment to Italy. At the time I barely ever shipped records to that country. It was also a time in which I had a lot of trouble with the postal services. Parcels were returned to me for unclear reasons and I had to make a lot of calls and fill in paperwork to get it fixed. So I was pretty frustrated about my interaction with PostNL.
I had shipped a bunch of records to this guy Alessandro. After a week or so he emails me to ask whether I've already shipped, because he hadn't received anything yet. I dig up the receipt and look up the tracking code on the postal service's website. To my surprise according to the website the parcel has already been delivered. Me being my delightful self am immediately pissed off, cursing the postal services and their shitty service. I write an email back to Alessandro saying: "Hey, according to the tracking code your parcel has already been delivered, but since you haven't had it, I assume something must have gone wrong. The postal services are fucking up a lot lately. I'll look into it and will get back to you." In mere minutes I get a reply in which Alessandro tells me he knows what's up. He's convinced his neighbor has received the parcel and is now withholding his records out of spite. Apparently the two of them were not on great terms, because of Allesandro's habit to play records late loud late at night drunk. Alessandro of course will not have any of this so he says he'll get redress from his neigbor RIGHT NOW.
In the meantime I'm looking for my receipt again to make a call to customer services. I fill in the tracking code on the website once more, because I had closed the browser window before. This time around the parcel is still in transit. I'm flabbergasted. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! FUCKING POSTAL SERVICES AND THEIR FUCKING CRAP HANDLING! Then it hits me: I had two orders from Italy that month... I mistook the first, the one that had already been delivered, for Alessandro's. The receipt I hold in my hands right now, is the correct one. The parcel is still in transit. It has not been delivered at all. Here I was in blind rage about PostNL's services, but it turns out it is me who is at fault. Then I realize Alessandro is probably picking a fight with his neighbor at this very moment about a parcel that his poor neighbor never even saw, which is still in a depot in Italy somewhere and will be delivered in a couple of days. So I write an email explaining the situation to Alessandro, apologize for the mix-up and add I hope this has not worsened his relationship with his neighbor any further. His reply was: "Don't worry, that guy is an asshole anyway." The records arrived a couple of days later. The lesson here is don't jump to conclusions and I am an idiot.
Scene Point Blank: What's the weirdest thing a customer has told you related to a package you sent them?
One guy received his order in bad condition. The road from the post office to his doorstep had not treated the parcel kindly. He was pissed. I would have been too. He blamed me for not packing the records well enough -- he was the first to complain about my packing since the years I was still figuring that shit out. In his rage he drew all kinds of matter into the argument that had nothing to do with the damage done to his parcel. Best among those thing was he did not like the way some of the releases he bought looked. I remember him writing something like: "And don't tell me that's punk, because it's not." I still don't understand what I could have done about that. Was I supposed to get my crayons out and make the artwork look better? If you think a record looks like shit, don't buy it! He also accused me of stealing the plastic protection sleeves of the 12"s as well as the casssette cases of the tapes he bought. Neither had any when I received them from the labels. That's been the worst experience I've had throughout the years. It was, spurious, ridiculous and unnecessary.
I really grew to hate the consumerist approach some people have developed when it comes to buying records. It doesn't fit the DIY ethic, is extremely unpersonal and just sucks. I blame Discogs and online shopping cart systems. Some people think if they're paying for something that means they can demand certain things and act a certain way. There is never a reason to be an asshole though. If you're going to be a cunt, don't order from me.
Scene Point Blank: How often does somebody email/call/text that they didn't get their package? Does it happen often?
No, it doesn't happen often. Throughout the years only few parcels have gone missing. I've definitely saved a good number from oblivion in depots through tracking and contact with the postal services though.
Scene Point Blank: What is a bigger problem: lost mail, broken mail, or returned mail?
Both broken and lost mail are a horror, but I've had to deal with the latter far more than the former so, if I had to pick, it'd be lost mail. Returned mail is also annoying though. For a while I would regularly get parcels returned to me with a sticker saying "Address does not exist," which in all cases was untrue. I'd have to fill in forms and start a procedure to get my money for shipment back and send the parcel out again. It'd take 6 weeks before I'd get a refund and the person who ordered would have to wait longer before he could play his records.
Scene Point Blank: Do you have any unusual stories about receiving packages from others?
I once bought a second hand copy of the first Pissed Jeans 7". When it arrived, it was as if someone had emptied a can of water in the sleeve, slapped two pieces of cardboard around it and then taped it shut. The guy I ordered from said he didn't know what had happened, which I believed. The record still played, but the sleeve was damaged. That kinda shit sucks, but let's not forget records are articles of use. Wear is part of it. Of course you don't want your records to look trashed, but I'm getting tired of people's obsession with "MINT" condition.
Scene Point Blank: Do you have any sage advice for other labels on how to send the perfect package?
Pack it well to prevent damage. Always get the record out of the sleeve to prevent seam splits. Shake the box before sending to make sure there's no movement inside.
Scene Point Blank: What is the worst thing to do?
Not packing a record well, writing on an envelope that the content is fragile and should not be bent. Someone once sent me a 7" that way and I received it in perfect condition. So that is possible. It's all about the way employees of the postal services treat the parcels, but I have no control over that so it's better to take no chances.
