Feature / Regular Columns / era vulgaris
Guest Column: T (Vegas) - Fruition

FRUITION.
( . . . ) I can hear it fading / fading like gas. ( . . . )

I am having a hard time figuring out what you came here for.
You are reading the column of an online publication.
I never do that, so I do not really know what you expect.
It seems reasonable to assume that you will continue reading this.
Very well!
Here is what I know: You have seen this column or have clicked a link and something has attracted you to it, otherwise why would you be looking at this?
You are capable of decoding symbols in order to derive meaning.
In other words, you can read.
Not just read, but read with patience: you have made it almost through half of this scribble and I have not told you anything yet.
If you are still with me, très bon, you are exactly the sort of person I want to address this to.
Make yourself comfortable and read on.
The first thing I would like to tell you is why.
Why I am writing this and why I want you to care.
Well, I would like to tell you why but unfortunately I can't because I do not know.
Sometimes my motives are very clear but I know they are new and that they came after the whole process.
Reversed causality.
An informal fallacy.
Effect following cause.
Some folks might find this unusual.
I do not.
More often than not there is quite a bit of retrofitting going on.
People do things, and then some kind of purpose is retroactively attached to it.
Sometimes the act of retrofitting is executed so skillfully that in hindsight it almost looks like intention while, in reality, it is a feeble attempt at rationalizing.
Explanations are a mere afterthought, given birth by what the narrow bandwidth of the consciousness can decipher from the complexity of detail.
Sehr schön.
So I am writing a column.
While I was writing it, I decided I was doing it.
It might look like the outcome of a series of informed decisions (it might not), but ultimately this is the bizarre outcome of a random process to me.
Dig this:
If I ran my life many times I think the outcome that includes me writing this column would happen in very few of those lives.
Guess what.
The column is coming to an end now.
Hallelujah, dem Herrn sei es geprießen.
If this made you think about a few things – fantastic!
If not, at least you have read this.