I broke out my CD for the Gehenna- The War of the Sons of Light and the Sons of Darkness and saw something that always made me smile. Allow me first to preface who this Gehenna is. These guys were a desperate batch of dudes who were rumored to be homeless vagabonds that made some of the most ragged and ruthless bands to ever play the hardcore/ punk scene. There recorded music is incredibly raw sounding but worth checking out.
The following is a tract that came with the CD, I do not endorse these activities and am posting this because it is funny to me
These Activities will enhance your enjoyment of Gehenna's music:
- Being paraded before press photographers by the FBI after a 10 week standoff at your Montana bunker
- Saving your urine in bottles to defend your squat when the pigs come
- Stealing a car to rush your girlfriend to the hospital after she has been shot in the head
- Finishing your root beer before attempting to set your broken nose bar-handed
- Spending an evening walking up and down the street looking for a place to shoplift dinner
- Shaking the roaches out of your clothes in the morning
- Smoking your last cigarette
These Activities may interfere with your appreciation of Gehenna's music:
- Taking communion
- Consulting a Lawyer
- Trimming your lawn
- Balancing your checkbook
- Shampooing and conditioning your hair
- Joining a video buyers club
- Becoming an officer of the peace
- Eating
Oh Gehenna...how you make me smile
Posted by Bob • January 8, 2008
Bob • January 8, 2008
Issue 2 of my print zine "I'm A Pretender" - available now!
Posted by Matt • December 7, 2007
Hello. Some of you might remember (or have participated in) my experiment over the summer collecting people's wishes on this page. I got over 160 entries and published them all in my print zine, "I'M A PRETENDER" (named after an Exploding Hearts song). This is what issue 2 looks like, and you can see the cover here.
The zine is a 24 page black and white A5-sized booklet that I write and design myself. Issue #1 was mainly 'creative writing' stuff (mostly short fiction and poetry); issue #2 has a wider mix of stuff and is hopefully a little funnier and more entertaining to read. The centrepoint of the issue is the Wishes project and the results, but as well as that there are such features as "My top 5 biggest social anxieties", "4 people you have never heard of", a modern-day retelling of the Viking armageddon story (Ragnarok) and perhaps the only zine columnist who happens to be an eagle. "How can I get my hands on this zine, Matt?!" I hear you cry. "Well", I answer confidently, "Pick an option from the list below:"
UK people
* Message me your address and I'll mail you a copy. Simple!
* If you fancy posting me a self-addressed envelope with a stamp on it, that would be nice, since I don't charge for the zine and don't include any ads, so I make a loss printing it.
Non-UK people
* Paypal me around $4 USD (or whatever your currency is). That's steeper than usual due to the crappy exchange rate and the pricey £2 I have to pay for international delivery, but I can't afford to mail it out myself (see above!).
* guitarromantic@gmail.com is my Paypal address.
* Alternatively, if you wanna do a zine trade or something I'd be down for this. Email me, same address as above.
Some useful links:
- my deviantART page (with content from issue #1)
- I'M A PRETENDER Myspace Profile
Matt • December 7, 2007
Most Awkward Interview Ever?
Posted by Michael • November 7, 2007
Imagine being in this kid's place...
Michael • November 7, 2007
Colbert '08
Posted by Michael • October 17, 2007
Even though it is just a joke, I'd still vote for Stephen Colbert for president before I'd vote for anyone else for running, outside of the longshots that have no change in hell of getting more than a fraction of one percent of a the vote.
For those out of the loop, head here.
Michael • October 17, 2007
Dear Atreyu
Posted by Michael • September 4, 2007
Dear Atreyu,
Please stop. No seriously, please stop...now.
- File has been removed. It was up for a month. It was the band's cover of Faith No More's "Epic." -
Thanks,
Michael
Michael • September 4, 2007
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