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Our latest album reviews, featuring the records we've most enjoyed (or not) over the past few weeks.

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Browse our album reviews according to score: Highest (9.5/10 or more) or Lowest (2/10 or less)

Girls Aloud

Chemistry
Polydor (2005)

Tits 'n' arse, right? Well, yeah, that's basically what it's all about. Skinny girls showing their skinny flesh to not-so-skinny girls and pubescent boys who are sitting at home, pretending to make out with the one girl that's unfortunate enough to appear on a poster with her mouth open. Tits 'n' arse, always a success. Who cares how it sounds? Who cares that it's mass-produced crap? Who cares about anything, except sales? If it sells, it's good. If it sells, it's successful. If it sells, the faceless middle-aged songwriters stay anonymous, but get ever richer for their anonymity, and the girls... Well, they get skinnier. Show more flesh. Innocently get their boobs out on holidays for expectant paparazzi a little bit more. Eventually develop drinking problems and end up in rehab, and no one really cares. Because the new band with bigger tits and even more ass has come along, and usurped the throne. See, that old dictum about history being repeated was almost written for the pop world. Every pop band does the same thing. Break from their management, have the ubiquitous failed solo careers, and insist that they are capable of writing their own songs when they aren't, … Read more

Multiple Authors

Girls Aloud

Chemistry
Polydor (2005)

"Girls, all I really want is girls / And in the morning it's girls / Cause in the evening it's … Read more

Pageninetynine

Document #8 (Reissue)
Robotic Empire (2005)

"Punk Rock should mean freedom, liking and accepting everything that you like, playing whatever you want, as sloppy as you … Read more

Dead Hearts

No Love, No Hope
Reflections (2005)

"Buffalo is the second largest city in New York State but it's dying slowly, it's a cold gray place: rusting … Read more

Crimes of Passion

Demo
Independent (2005)

If you made a list of all the bands currently playing the style of music labeled as metalcore, you could … Read more

Graf Orlock / Greyskull

Split
Dood (2005)

Unless you're backless, you have a backpack. What do you have in your backpack? I'd imagine there's a collection of … Read more

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One from the archives

Future Girls

Motivation Problems
Dirt Cult (2018)

Future Girls’ debut full-length is one I’m going to have a tough time describing. Motivation Problems fits well within the Dirt Cult Records catalog. It’s punky, but there’s more going on. It’s melodic in focus with some rough-around-the-edges touches, both musically and in the recording. Twelve songs race past in just 27 minutes, but it feels diverse even within that familiar base style. Musically it’s upbeat and peppy throughout, with dual vocals adding energy to the downer lyrical topics. After all, the band titled this effort Motivation Problems, which is a pretty direct clue about their, um, enthusiasm. They call themselves “bummer punk,” and it’s a pretty apt term. Each of the songs here is chord based and builds to a nice melody with a strong emphasis on sing-along structures. … Read more

More album reviews

Lords

Swords
Jade Tree (2005)

Don't blink, or it will all be over before you even realize what hit you. Swords is what a hit and run car wreck feels and sounds like. The group Lords has been a roadwarrioring (yes, I made this word up and I am trademarking it) group of semi-Hessian sound miscreants for quite some time. After two equally disturbing EP's … Read more

Renee Heartfelt

Death of the Ghost
Textbook Music (2005)

I often wonder how musicians reach the point in their lives where they want to make a change in their musical endeavors. Perhaps they no longer find the frantic and chaotic world of hardcore/punk interesting. Maybe they have been screaming and breaking shit on stage for so long that they no longer know what they're angry about. For whatever reasons … Read more

Oxes

Oxes EP
Monitor (2005)

If it wasn't the fake split with Arab On Radar they pulled to boost CD sales that sold your heart, than it had to be the album artwork on the Oxxxes LP that caused an uproar of controversy. The protest in Baltimore was later turned into the album cover of the CD version, with my favorite being the guy holding … Read more

Multiple Authors

Madonna

Confessions on a Dance Floor
Maverick (2005)

Do you remember when Madonna used to be the only female pop star that could sell millions with every album? When she was always ahead of the chasing pack by being the first major pop star to take the latest underground fade and turn it into the new cool? Do you remember when she looked hot and flaunted her sexuality … Read more

Depeche Mode

Playing the Angel
Reprise (2005)

I broke a fingernail tearing the shrink wrap off Playing the Angel - that's how excited I was to get into it. After the confusion caused by Exciter, and the months of consolation I indulged in with the two Singles collections, I was desperate for Martin Gore, Dave Gahan and that other guy who's name I had to look up … Read more

Bunyan, Vashti

Lookaftering
Fat Cat (2005)

If you go to the Guinness World Records Website and type in, "Longest time between albums", you get a message that says, "Can't find what you're looking for? This site features only a selection of the 40,000 records in the Guinness World Records database." In other words, they are saying that if one desires to know the official record for … Read more

Broken Social Scene

Broken Social Scene
Arts & Crafts (2005)

You know how there is always one band that everyone says "You should totally check this band out man; they rock harder than Ron Jeremy's cock at the office!" and you go, "Yeah sure man, I'll check them out if you say they are that good." And you never do! Well that's pretty much my relationship with the Broken Social … Read more

Blacklisted

...The Beat Goes On
Deathwish Inc. (2005)

Despair, anger, and doubt are all located on the polar opposite side of happiness and are never a joy to experience in one's life. These feelings do, however, make for great hardcore albums. ...The Beat Goes On is one of the best examples of negative energy being used to create one thick, menacing, evil piece of human desperation and ruin. … Read more

I Am the Avalanche

I Am the Avalanche
Drive-Thru (2005)

If you look at the musical resumes of the members of I Am the Avalanche, they are quite impressive. Vocalist Vinnie Caruana fronted the pop-punk band The Movielife; Guitarist Brandon Swanson played in the highly-toted emo/indie rock band Further Seems Forever; bassist Kellen Robson was a member of Long Island hardcore band Scraps and Heart Attacks; and while guitarist Michael … Read more

Sentenced

The Funeral Album
Century Media (2005)

Legend, and probably some interview posted somewhere on the internet, has it that halfway through recording The Funeral Album the members of Sentenced decided it would be their final project together. I suppose there's the potential for criticism in giving this album a stellar rating. Such a move might smack of the silver medals awarded to aging figure skaters because … Read more

Criteria

When We Break
Saddle Creek (2005)

Let's get a few obvious bits of information out of the way. Criteria is the latest vehicle by one half of the early Cursive writing team, Steven Pederson. No, this is not a blatant rip of Cursive's material. Criteria is a less pretentious and anthemic rock album. It is a supremely infectious pop record in fact. I was completely surprised … Read more

Eluvium

Talk Amongst the Trees
Temporary Residence (2005)

1:49 a.m. I'm tired. Not tired enough to pass out, but tired enough to browse the internet and listen to music. So I put on Eluvium's Talk Amongst the Trees. Perfect. The first song, "New Animals from the Air," whispers from my speakers. As if the effects of my Sleepy Time Tea weren't enough, I can feel my subconscious beckoning … Read more

The New Pornographers

Twin Cinema
Matador (2005)

Have an empty space between your copies of Hearts of Oak and Chutes Too Narrow? Need a sparkling new addition to your collection of great bands with horrible names? Feel like cleansing your palette of the countless cred-thriving indie bands that couldn't write a decent, memorable tune to save their collective lives? If you answered yes to any of the … Read more

The Darkness

One Way Ticket to Hell... and Back
Atlantic (2005)

There's not much worse than a bad joke, unless it's a bad joke that just won't go away. Let's face it, there are only so many times you can hear that joke about Michael Jackson and the Pope in a plane and with the punch line being about fucking kids, before you want to pull someone's eyelids out and pour … Read more

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Browse our album reviews according to score: Highest (9.5/10 or more) or Lowest (2/10 or less)